Wednesday, 31 October 2012

|| Motherhood - A Song For Life ||




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|| A Letter to my Father ||

Dear Daddy,

Do you remember the day you and Mumma discovered my presence in your life? I do. I remember how excited you were. You lifted Mumma up and her instant reaction was, "Be careful, you might hurt the baby".

On that day, a new set of parents were born. Your role as a father came into being. Your excitement was unmatched. But all too soon that excitement was replaced by worry. Would I have ten fingers & ten toes? Would I look like you or Mumma? You were going to spend more hours at work to ensure I went to a good school. Which college would I go to, at home or abroad? Was Mumma eating enough nutritious food? Fish oil? Was my brain developing properly? Would I leave home once I was 18? The questions kept coming...

That night when the nurse put me in your arms, you looked into my eyes and said, "Wow... this is a miracle." Did you see the tears in Mumma's eyes as she watched us? I did.

Today I am five months old. I can hold my head up. I can turn onto my side. I'm learning to sit up straight. I prefer sleeping on my side. I can bite pretty hard now, even if toothless. I am beginning to recognise you.
Have you noticed?

I love my mornings with you. I love sitting on your shoulders and pulling your hair. I love yanking your glasses off. I love it when you tickle my ribs. I love sitting on the driver's seat of our car with you. I love scratching your stubble-face. I love listening to your heart beat when you hold me close. I love it when you kiss me. I love watching 'The Office" with you. I love our veggie shopping trips. I love reading the newspaper with you on Sundays. I love being with you.
And you? 

When I am a little older, will you play ball with me? Will you teach me how to hold a cricket bat? Will you read to me at bedtime? Will you take me to the zoo? May we watch cartoons together? Will you catch me when I come whizzing down the slide? Will you help me with my homework? Will you drive me to my friend's birthday party?
Will you make the time to grow with me?

You're probably wondering why Mumma can't do all of this. She can. But I want to know you. I want to make my father-son memories. I don't want my daddy to be a stranger to me. I want you to want to be with me. I want us to be special.
Do you?

I understand that you have to go to work so that we can live comfortably. I understand that you may not tuck me into bed every night. I understand that you may have to work on weekends sometimes. I understand that you want to enjoy your 'alone-time' too. I understand that you won't always have the time for me. I understand. I do.
Do you understand me too?

Life is going to be a roller coaster ride. And I am looking forward to enjoying the journey with you and Mumma perched on either of my sides. We can make it happen.
Can't we?

I love you.
Gabs.
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'Motherhood' is only half the song in a child's life. For if motherhood is the music, fatherhood lends the song its lyrics. As much as a child requires his mother to fulfil his everyday needs, she may not necessarily fill in for a father. 

In our patriarchal society the father is expected to bring home the bread while the mother brings up the child. The concept of a 'working father' is non-existent, as opposed to that of a 'working mother'. In this rut of working towards a financially secure future, the father often misses out on many a beautiful moments with his child. His first words, his first step, and many more such firsts remain unshared. 

But life goes on. And so will the Song For Life

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This post is part of a contest for blogger-mommies brought to us by Women's Web, in association with Mom&Me. Send in your 'special moment' entries at the link below.

Monday, 22 October 2012

|| Motherhood Ke Side Effects ||

...and there are all too many!

SE: Like gorging on a bowlful of cookies & cream ice-cream - guilt free - while I draft my first ever personal blog post. I can always work it off over the next few months. Four months post delivery, I am still wallowing in my 'pregnancy weight', rightfully of course. Also I can tell you that melted ice-cream tastes just as good... only a tad bit less chilled than I prefer.

SE: Have you heard a 'soundless sneeze'... of course, you haven't. Thanks to the little man who's super sharp hearing can distract him even while he feeds and a truck honks 15 floors below us... I've now mastered the art of silent sneezing.

SE: Never before have I appreciated the the true meaning of 'pin-drop silence' as much. I had just about put Rey to sleep, and as I was slyly slipping away I managed to drop a safety pin on the floor. Cringing and cursing my butter-fingered self was an instant reaction. The sound of the falling pin could quite easily have woken him up, I thought. The continuous hum of the fan and his own breathing are the only things that Rey hears at this moment. I've taken a position as far away from the bed as possible, lest he wakes up from the sound of my typing.

SE: The number of missed calls I have to return on a daily basis, me thinks, may even lead people to believe that I am avoiding them on purpose. And funnily enough its not a-particular time of the day when I miss calls... the timings are rather erratic Only this morning when I had barely woken up, I checked my phone to find four missed calls. It didn't surprise me. What did though was the time - 8:38am! And then I heard the door bell ring. And what also rang to break the 'pin-drop' silence were Rey's cries. My little man was awake. My day had begun :)

SE: "When do I usually have lunch?" you ask...
4 months ago: "Around 1:30ish"
Now: "Today I had it at 2:15, yesterday...lets see - 1:00 I think. Day before... can't really remember."

My lunch window is governed by Rey's afternoon nap, which he decides to take at his own discretion, each day. As soon as he is asleep, and I have successfully tucked him in, I make a run - on tip toe - for the kitchen. Its funny though how every time when I have just finished heating my food, he decides to wake up, just to be cuddled and re-tucked in. When I mentioned this to my mom, she said it was a common phenomena with mothers. That babies have this eerie sense of when the mother is going to eat, and will invariably wake up just then. Anyhow... this daily routine has now taught me how to relish cold food. Those who know me will know how much I hated cold lunches. So much so that I'd never have sandwiches for lunch, unless they could be freshly toasted.

SE: The minimal levels of adult activity in my life is rather stark. Wait... I only mean conversations, really. Franky, I don't remember the last time I had a conversation which was minus Rey. Be it my colleagues, parents, husband, friends... all I remember discussing, sharing or laughing about is Rey and his antics. (Mental note: must make an effort to at least read the newspaper regularly)

And a few more SEs...
There is no longer a fixed time to sleep. No weekends either.
I've learnt to appreciate the length of a full-five-minutes.
The only alone-time I do manage is in the shower.
Checking e-mail is no longer a daily activity.
I have googled ways of entertaining babies.
At home we don't talk, we whisper.
I'm reliving play school with popular nursery rhymes.
I have developed a special respect for the tablet.
Don't remember the last time I saw the insides of a parlour or hair salon - thank goodness for such services made available at home.
I haven't eaten 'raste-ke-gol-gappe' in over a year (Mental note: added to my weekend wishlist)!
If you see me sporting a bald look any time soon, don't be surprised. Hair fall is an understatement.
People have sweet tooth, I have developed sweet-teeth - me thinks its super-delayed preggi cravings, which by the way I had zinlch!

And all this even while I've had a helping hands.. mummy dearest for the initial three months and currently the hubby If it weren't for their support, I'd be sporting the bald look already.

But you know what? For every side effect that motherhood has brought along, there is a million-dollar-toothless-smile that makes every waking hour more than just worthwhile.

love being Rey's mumma. I wouldn't have life any other way.